these by-gones won't go

a couple weeks ago i heard nick lowe singing this line. it brought to mind all the time i spend going over memories of rotten experiences with bad boyfriends. just about everyday a memory will pop into my head and i'll have to slog my way out of it and all the crappy mess of resentment, bitterness and regret that come with it. it seems pointless to be visited by these events of 20 or 25 years ago. i'm still shocked that i was in those situations (epic, ridiculous, stupid situations). maybe that's why they still surface in my head.
these by-gones won't go.

in an effort to counter these crummy ghosts, when i am struck by a bbm (bad boyfriend memory) i counter it with a great boyfriend memory. which is wonderful.

for the record: there were only two guys. two bad boyfriends. i suppose that is not bad overall. but these dudes were ringers. jesus.
each one, however, did turn me on to something cool:
1. baseball
2. the smiths
there might be more, but i don't care to give it any more thought than that.

so long, farewell...

i consider it a mission. a task.

in an effort to not outgrow my apartment, i've been working on culling stuff from my belongings. stuff i don't use.
been working on it slowly, steadily for about a year. there are a couple areas of stuff that have been difficult: 1: music, 2: clothes
i'm not a fashion plate by any means, but i tend to keep clothes for ever. last night i was wearing coveralls i've had at least 10 years. last week, a sweater i bought at a thrift store when i was in high school.

this brings me to these t-shirts. the black one is from an FM rock station i listened to when i was in jr. high and high school. the back of the shirt says, "stick it in your ear."i cut the sleeves off and the neck out. i wore it to tennis practice in high school. and probably to the mall when i wanted to look cool (because sometimes my nazareth t-shirt was in the wash.)
the mottled, beige looking shirt is a 1982 cheap trick tour shirt. my mom poured bleach on it, not knowing it was in the washing machine. that's how it got it's color (this is NOT the only article of clothing that fell to this fate: my first 501's, my favorite yellow striped shirt. at a certain point i began doing all my own laundry for this reason). cut the sleeves and neck out of this one, too. back then, everything was cut for guys and had high necks: i cut the necks out of all my t-shirts.
i got the cheap trick shirt at a concert in hayward with my friend, patty sparkman, who had never seen the band before. (science fact: this was in the non-tom-peterson/ jon-brant days {see inset}).

there is a pic of me wearing this shirt, pre-bleach, in my sophmore yr. yearbook.

so. two weeks ago i took these shirts out of the "shirts in limbo" pile with the intent of either cutting them up for dusting cloths or throwing them in the trash.

they got as far as my sewing desk, where they still sit.

by the end of tonight, they will be in the bag of former shirts now in the service of wiping the dust off surfaces in my apt.

maybe.

SCREEN DOOR MACH II

brief update: the screen is mended, paint is re-touched, and is now back leaning in the kitchen door jamb awaiting proper installation. it will happen!! tomorrow i'm calling a shop in hollywood that installs doors. if it's not prohibitively expensive, i'm gonna make an appointment and get this show on the road! WOO, DAMMIT!
{this shot was taken after the torn screen was removed and paint touch-ups were in progress}

for the record:
beer of note: deschutes brewery, mirror pond ale
snack of note: trader joe's nuts about raspberries and chocolate trail mix

tastes like grape

for the record: i did it. i drank deep of the f/b kool-aid and within 3 hours found the woman who was my tennis team double partner in highschool. she also played a mean game of defender back in the day. :)

i've got to figure out how to use the f/b powers for good not evil and not let the whole thing overwhelm me. my email acct. was packed with f/b related stuff. lord.

other day 1 highlights: "becoming a fan" of curtis mayfield AND zankou (sweet, sweet zankou),
seeing pix from the babe ranch (no judging!), getting invited to prom in dubai, finally getting ahold of sea so that she could come to the andrew bird show, and discovering how to IM bp. :D

with that: work. these opening credits will not place themselves.

quote du jour

"he is my inner abider made manifest."

explaining to dp why i have such affection for the security guard who uses hand traffic signals while driving a golf cart on the lot.

side note: whenever i'm on the lot with dp and tourist trams pass, people wave to him. last week one girl giggled when he waved back. we think people think he's michael chiklis. :)

if this love is wrong, i don't want to be right.

**letter written while sitting in the front cafe section of "stories" bookstore in echo park." it's on some well traveled green lined paper that i carry around just in case the letter writing mood hits. also: i JUST figured out how to put links in the text. look out!**

sunday 2.15.09 5:30p
mostly cloudy sky, dusk, lighted signs getting turned on.

i am in love.

i am in love with this bookstore. last weekend i noticed it for the first time. it's on sunset blvd in echo park, near the echo. it's a bookstore and cafe. the front of the long, narrow shop is all glass. there are tables and a long bench up here. i'm sipping an americano, that, when it was hot, was quite good. :)

the shop sells new and used books! it's not a big space, so you can imagine the selection is...select. (damn, painted myself into a language corner there...) there is a small craft section with good & interesting books on sewing, knitting and needlework. including a book from "subversive cross stitch", of whom i am a fan. :) )
the cafe counter is in the back of the shop along with...a back patio.
patio.
number two on my list of wonderful cafe attributes, second only to remarkable coffee. it's too cold out this evening to sit outside which is how i came to be here. now that i know about the patio. well.

this stretch of sunset blvd is also part of my favored bike path route in the summer. used to be: bike to millie's, eat, then bike to sea level records. since sea level shut in 2007 i've ridden down here, but only to turn around when i get close to dodger stadium and head back.

consider all these attributes--independent book store, new & used books, coffee, tables that look out onto echo park foot traffic, the patio, bike route--and put them all in the space that used to be sea level records. yup. same store. well. what's not to love?

bonuses: they are playing velvet underground and have free wi-fi. so. for now, until all the screenwriters & students discover this spot, i have another cafe to add to the rotation.

before writing you i was reading (oh! i hear the coffee grinder from the back of the store!) michael chabon's book, "Maps & Legends." i've just started the first piece (it's a collection.) this line made me laugh out loud:
"An entertainer is a man in a sequined dinner jacket, singing "she's a lady" to a hall filled with women rubber-banding their underpants up onto the stage."
this in the same piece in which he mentions nabakov, nurse romance fiction, and star wars. i love his writing. (i was going to write, "i love him, too." would have added symmetry to this letter but just seems a little too familiar. :| )

additional cool things about this book store: the guy sitting at another table was just served a salami sandwich. the bread is really crunchy. sounds terrific! and: a woman just sat down at the table next to mine and struck up conversation about the m. chabon book on the table.

ahh! and randy newman is playing now! good lord. how do i keep from spending all my time here? (oh brainstorm! back patio may be ideal for a knitting group!)

alright. it may be time to head home. before coming here i was @ orchard supply. bought a sheet of screen to install in my door. Believe it! and a new broom. it's time. :)

**as i transcribe this i realized i haven't properly finished this letter. well. i packed up, headed home. i didn't get the screen installed last night. wanted to wait until daytime to do it. {black door, black screen...just easier to see in the day} i spent a considerable amount of time standing on a stool in my kitchen re-arranging the glassware that belonged to my grandmothers, and great grandmothers. this put the sangria pitcher is a more accessible spot. key for summer!
also: my hallway is FULL of containers of fabric and yarn from the closet. found just the right fabric in there. :D

it's monday morning. i've spent it sewing in my pajamas.**

why i didn't see grant-lee phillips on saturday.

saturday morning i drove up to the greek theatre to buy some tix for a show. turns out the box office there is closed for the season. so. decided to use the out and about early on a saturday momentum to visit the DMV to replace my stolen (grr) car registration sticker. had to stop by the apt to look up the saturday hours. the information i found on their website stated that saturday DMV hours have been discontinued b/c of california's budget, which has yet to be set.

now. i remember that i can get this DMV service at AAA, so i head out. from the time i pulled out of my drive way, to the time i was pulling out of the AAA driveway: 45 min. done! easy!

back at the homestead i worked on a few things including the Never Ending Screen Door Project.

yes! (for those of you familiar with said screen door, it is, at present, lying on the floor of my dining room, torn screen and moldings removed, fresh coats of paint covering the scratches and dings from The Incident {sigh})

decided to walk to kaldi cafe in atwater. it's a great walk that takes me around the reservoir on rowena, over hwy 5 and the los angeles river. i really wanted to see the state of the river after two days of heavy rain.

armchair birder note: no birds on the reservoir. hmm. there was a flock of what looked like geese on the bank of the river. it was a bit far from the hyperion overpass to see.

at kaldi i had a rich americano, sat outside and read some roy blount. it was cool, but not raining and the sky was full of dramatic cloud formations. when it got too cold to stay out i got another americano and headed to the little knittery. .

i hung out there, did some knitting, chatting. when i got up to leave it was about 6:30. as i put on my sweater i looked out the window: downpour. i reflected on the decision i'd made hours before to wear a fleece jacket, instead of a rain jacket. to carry a wool bag, not a nylon backpack. to wear hiking shoes instead of my impervious muck boots. to bring my dinner-plate sized travel umbrella instead of my full sized, morton's salt girl umbrella.

when i headed home from atwater on foot, it was pouring rain. this was the heaviest rain i've ever walked in. and i lived for six years in humboldt county without a car. i've logged a lot of time walking in the rain. as i was walking over the hyperion bridge back to los feliz huddled under my umbrella, a car drove by, through the rain running down the gutter of the overpass and DRENCHED me. instantly. it felt like someone threw a bucket of water at my back. i turned to look down the road and saw the traffic light change, and watched two lanes of traffic headed my way.

it felt like someone was hurling buckets of water at my back in 2 second intervals for the next 2 minutes. a couple times, i put my umbrella down to cover my back, but it was raining so hard my head was getting soaked.

i was able to keep my head, and therefore headphones dry, so at least i could listen to music as squished home. there is never a bad time to hear ray charles.

when i got home i went straight into a hot shower. just out of the shower: lightning. decided to stay in, listen to some sarah vowell's "partly cloudy patriot" and continue on my crafting jag.

beer of note: mendocino brewery's eye of the hawk
snack of note: trader joe's mini dark choc. covered graham crackers.

i did miss grant-lee's little room show. again. dammit.

photo is of me during happier rainy times: june 2004, bonnaroo. pic taken by suzie. :)

shabby-dig-it-freddie!

last night at about 11:30, i put down the endless striped blanket i was knitting and thought to go to bed. then i noticed the unfinished glass of beer: celebrator. in my top 3.
so, i picked up lynda barry's "the freddie stories" to read while i finished my beer.

i don't know if these are strips from lb's strip, "ernie pook's comeek," or only in this book. they are so beautiful and crushing. i didn't want to stop reading until i could finish with a story that had a hopeful ending. finally got to bed at 1am.

lb stands alone.

there she is.

:)

knit-tacular!

since mid-december i've been on a bit of a craft tear. i'd been in a bit of a creative lull, but i got a request from roberta for a green scarf. my friend petra turned me onto some amazing yarn: rowan cocoon: merino wool and kid mohair. SOOOOFT! then, she showed me a terrific pattern: kim hargreaves' "haven."
roberta and i exchanged a flurry of texts while i was in the yarn store re: color and yarn weight. after "green," "chunky" and "city over sporty" she gave me license to knit what i wanted. now that she's received it in the mail, i'll post some pix.
this is a close up of the lace pattern.
(the fabric behind it is the back of a quilt i made)


---> in this shot you can see how long the scarf is. that is a queen size bed! for the record: i did NOT make that quilt. it's from the company store. :)

i knit this scarf in coffee houses across los feliz, silver lake, chicago, new york, and coast to coast on virgin airlines.

back to it: this scarf stoked my creative bug. since i started it, i've also been working on a beret made of pale green alpaca (oh lord, again with the softness!), some covered baby hangers for baby hoover, come close to finishing the supa-bright kids' quilt, and made this rad bag from an urban craft center pattern: i love the bee fabric. it's lined with some purple fabric from the stash in my closet. woo!
one last highlight: i've been pulling together some pix of my old quilt and knitting projects. this is a baby sweater i knit for roberta's son, beck:
that is a slice of buttered toast. r & i were housemates at humboldt. properly preparing toast was an art form in our apt. :)

this sweater is the first project i knit using the intarsia method. the pic is off-center. alas. there is a companion sweater to this: features an eggplant.
(if any of you have a pic of this one, let me know!)

also: this morning i decided what phrase will go on the bright kids' quilt.
i'd been waffling between "i will not fail you rainbow chicken" and "there will be snacks!" when i woke up this morning i was singing andrew bird's "tables and chairs." so.

as a bonus, that phrase always makes me think of my friend, natalie. :)